No, no, don’t worry, I’m fine talking about it.
Basically, from about the time I was 14 until early last year, I suffered a lot with depression and crippling anxieties and some really not-good stuff happened to me and a whole buttload of horrible stuff that eventually led up to a second suicide attempt early last year. I ended up in hospital and it just wasn’t great at all. But then after that I decided to get better, and I basically forced myself to, idk, just get better. I basically started eating better (i was still vegan then, but there was still stuff to fix) and I drove myself with my studies and exercise and spending more time outside, etc. I basically made myself see the beauty in everything, even things I didn’t like like spiders and such, I started calling “cute” and learning about them and basically just made myself like them idk
Like, I used to have a rather bad fear of wasps too, and then one day when a few were flying around I just decided to not run when they were near me. Within 10 minutes, I had a wasp on my arm and I wasn’t even phased. I let wasps fly in my hair and land on my ear and everything now, and I know that’s a small thing, but it’s really important to note because it’s a point in my life I’ll remember because I literally just decided to be comfortable and that made all the difference.
It took me quite a while, but for many months now I’ve been so happy in my life and I can literally get excited to go and stand in the kitchen and make a cup of tea. I can smile while I’m waiting for my toast to pop, for no reason other than that I am happy. I’m so much happier in my life now because I’ve realised everything is beautiful and there is so much to be thankful for and amazed at.
I’m so much happier with myself now than I ever have been, and the only way I can go is up :)
To see that this has 50 notes partly saddens me, to think that that many people are going through similar things… but it also makes me quite happy, because it sort of gives me a boost knowing that they want to get better and are hopefully taking tiny steps to do so idk.